Worst First

I should be sitting here in my tiny home office (A cubicle is spacious compared to my little nook with a door, but it's mine, all mine.) sipping a latte and thinking of my excited little man settling into his 1st Grade classroom, instead I'm sitting here waiting for my blood pressure to return to a safe zone as my clothes tumble around in the drier.

Kinda wishing it wasn't 10:30 a.m.

I started this morning a "good" Mom, determined to make it a memorable and peaceful send off for the Baron of Boredom. I got up at 6:15, carefully packed a smorgasbord of favorites in his lunch box and made a special 1st-day-of-school breakfast (Challah French Toast, Canadian Bacon, Strawberries).

Weeksworld was humming along. Daddy kissed our 1st Grader goodbye & wished him luck.

Then, mere moments after Daddy walked out of the house into the drizzly morning, negative forces, like a gang of Deatheaters, swooped in and hijacked my carefully planned morning.

Suddenly both pairs of "hearing ears" malfunctioned, the first-day-of-school outfit was vetoed (only his ratty old Star Wars t-shirt would do), and, despite the deluge outside, rain boots were refused (insisting on wearing his new sneakers and explaining at length that he didn't want to have to change his shoes when he got to school).

Then the Master of Mayhem decided to up the level of difficulty on Mama, too! Refusing to wear the khakis and t-shirt I'd laid out, demanding to wear the Star Wars shirt his brother had just donned and a pair of wintery fleece-lined pants.

And then there was the struggle to brush -- teeth, hair -- ugh!!! 

Mama was reduced to a screamin' freakout! 

With each passing minute the rain intensified and so did the decibel level in our humble house.

I knew what this rainy morning meant - our "walking" school would all be driving, the tiny school parking lot would be jammed, cars would be parked along every side street, and we would end up parking 1/2 way back to our house. But there wasn't any time left to walk! We had to leave, now, now, now!

In the midst of the mayhem, my poor, dear 1st Grader mutters "I'm nervous, Mommy. I don't want to go to school."

Perfect! School starts in 2 minutes, dude! What happened to the guy that was begging for school two weeks ago? There's no time for hugs and reassurances, mister!

Shoot, I almost forgot -- the official back-to-school morning picture.

Not even "say booger", "say fart" or "say poop" could get a real smile out of him.

It was official -- I had gone from "good" to "bad" Mommy in less than 30 minutes. That must be some kind of Momming speed record!

Sneakers wouldn't tie, rain boots went missing, rain jacket zippers jammed, and a curse or two may have been muttered as I chased my mini-men out of the house and into the mini-van.

True to my prediction, the parking lot was a battlefield, every inch of curb along the side streets was taken. We finally parked two blocks from school (we live five blocks from school) and hoofed it up the hill in the pouring rain, no puddle missed, to a school full of wet, nervous chaos.

The annual playground ritual of each class assembling behind their teacher and walking into to school was replaced by noise, confusion and damp body heat.

The Baron clutched my hand, and buried his face in my dripping Mt. Hardware shell. But he prevailed, and when it was time to head off to learning, he gave me a hug and a kiss, then marched away with his damp classmates. I couldn't have been prouder.

Phew, I survived the first of two first days! Now, I'm praying next week, when it's the Master's first day of school, Mother Nature will be kinder and my children will be gentler with Mommy's nerves.